EVERYTHING I DIDN'T EXPECT ABOUT WORKING FROM HOME
When the sudden lock down orders pushed us all into our isolated homes, there were certain things I knew would need to be done right away in order for me to work from home. Like, testing my internet speed, and running an ethernet cable, and reconstructing my home office space for privacy. But then there were things that I didn't expect to navigate while trying to establish my work from home...
1. Technology
Just before joining a zoom call early into the stay-home orders, I realized the earbuds I was planning to use didn't include a microphone. I made a quick, "essential" supplies dash to the corner family grocer... From then on, I made sure to purchase a reliable set of headphones with a microphone. I also found myself doing lots of test calls with family members the first few weeks, just to acclimate myself to camera settings and lighting and sound capabilities and platforms.
2. Platforms and Apps
There are so many options! I counted 10 in just one day! I learned quickly that every customer either had their favorite way to connect virtually, or they were limited to whatever platform was compatible with their device. I had to clear memory space to install new apps and update software so to meet the needs of as many customers as possible.
3. Set up time
Before I log into a 1-2 hour long meeting, there is still plenty of prep to do! Adjust lighting for the time of day. Clean the camera. Move clutter from the day's projects out of camera view. Check sound. Refill my water. Go the bathroom. Change my pajama t-shirt into a shirt that is more professional for the camera. Turn everything on. Wait for everything to load. Check IDs and passwords. Log in. Close and lock the door so the cats don't disrupt the call...
4. Distractions, a.k.a Cats!
The newly designed tiny home office setup was mistaken immediately as a gift to my cats. Unfortunately, the closed door wasn't enough of a barrier. Their forceful paws somehow opened the door repeatedly until I got smart and started locking the door. Then, I only had to practice ignoring their pitiful vociferous cries coming from under the doorway.
5. Reinvention
How I am used to approaching my work has shifted completely. From connecting with colleagues, to finding a team, to job prep, to contract negotiation, to rates, to customer service....everything feels like a new cutting edge idea!
6. Self-Promotion
This has been the most awkward part of the unexpected quarantine career. It became apparent to me that I was, "Out of sight. Out of mind." World events changed priorities and removed work faces from our daily lives. I just wasn't on anyone's radar anymore. And yet, customers were expressing their need for services! The virtual world had the ability to connect humans more than ever! While also making us scattered silos. Personal life and work life converged for myself and my customers, making virtual relationships complex. Many of us were also home educating our kids while sitting in thrown together home office spaces. Self promotion, while an awkward feeling to me, was really the only way to inform costumers that I was there to support them, and keep myself connected with a community that also waited in isolation.
.....
Valoree Boyer is a nationally certified American Sign Language interpreter living in West Michigan. She is camp director for CCW, Camp Chris Williams. A camp for Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Deafblind youth ages 11-17. On occasion she presents interpreter workshops with a colleague and keeps a pulse on the changing business dynamics in the interpreting profession. Besides developing her work from home skills, she juggles motherhood, raising a spunky middle school daughter, and keeps four cats and two siberian-mix huskies well fed.
When the sudden lock down orders pushed us all into our isolated homes, there were certain things I knew would need to be done right away in order for me to work from home. Like, testing my internet speed, and running an ethernet cable, and reconstructing my home office space for privacy. But then there were things that I didn't expect to navigate while trying to establish my work from home...
1. Technology
Just before joining a zoom call early into the stay-home orders, I realized the earbuds I was planning to use didn't include a microphone. I made a quick, "essential" supplies dash to the corner family grocer... From then on, I made sure to purchase a reliable set of headphones with a microphone. I also found myself doing lots of test calls with family members the first few weeks, just to acclimate myself to camera settings and lighting and sound capabilities and platforms.
2. Platforms and Apps
There are so many options! I counted 10 in just one day! I learned quickly that every customer either had their favorite way to connect virtually, or they were limited to whatever platform was compatible with their device. I had to clear memory space to install new apps and update software so to meet the needs of as many customers as possible.
3. Set up time
Before I log into a 1-2 hour long meeting, there is still plenty of prep to do! Adjust lighting for the time of day. Clean the camera. Move clutter from the day's projects out of camera view. Check sound. Refill my water. Go the bathroom. Change my pajama t-shirt into a shirt that is more professional for the camera. Turn everything on. Wait for everything to load. Check IDs and passwords. Log in. Close and lock the door so the cats don't disrupt the call...
4. Distractions, a.k.a Cats!
The newly designed tiny home office setup was mistaken immediately as a gift to my cats. Unfortunately, the closed door wasn't enough of a barrier. Their forceful paws somehow opened the door repeatedly until I got smart and started locking the door. Then, I only had to practice ignoring their pitiful vociferous cries coming from under the doorway.
5. Reinvention
How I am used to approaching my work has shifted completely. From connecting with colleagues, to finding a team, to job prep, to contract negotiation, to rates, to customer service....everything feels like a new cutting edge idea!
6. Self-Promotion
This has been the most awkward part of the unexpected quarantine career. It became apparent to me that I was, "Out of sight. Out of mind." World events changed priorities and removed work faces from our daily lives. I just wasn't on anyone's radar anymore. And yet, customers were expressing their need for services! The virtual world had the ability to connect humans more than ever! While also making us scattered silos. Personal life and work life converged for myself and my customers, making virtual relationships complex. Many of us were also home educating our kids while sitting in thrown together home office spaces. Self promotion, while an awkward feeling to me, was really the only way to inform costumers that I was there to support them, and keep myself connected with a community that also waited in isolation.
.....
Valoree Boyer is a nationally certified American Sign Language interpreter living in West Michigan. She is camp director for CCW, Camp Chris Williams. A camp for Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Deafblind youth ages 11-17. On occasion she presents interpreter workshops with a colleague and keeps a pulse on the changing business dynamics in the interpreting profession. Besides developing her work from home skills, she juggles motherhood, raising a spunky middle school daughter, and keeps four cats and two siberian-mix huskies well fed.
TURNING 40. "THE LIST"
When I turned 30, I made a list of 12 things to accomplish by my 40th birthday.
I pulled the list... Here's how I did.
1. Be debt free
Pretty much, yes.
Biggest debt is my mortgage.
2. Buy an 80s Jaguar.
Nope. Not yet... ;)
3. Leah will be 10. Be home with her often.
Yes. Yes. Yes! Best blessing in my 30s was to eventually be able to make a living AND be a very present mom. I'm very involved in all her after school things and daily life. Blessed.
4. Buy a home on a lake.
Bought a home.
The lake is a 5 minute drive away. ;)
5. Have my legal certification.
The interpreter certifications changed since I made the list. I passed the written test at the MI Supreme Courthouse. But haven't pursued the legal endorsement yet. I chose to get the medical/mental health instead.
6. Publish 1 book.
Ooo...we're so close! It's coming!
7. Take dance lessons. Get good at it.
Yep! Been taking them. Wouldn't consider myself a "dancer" but I definitely know way more now than I ever did and I practice weekly. I practice at home too. Ballet and tap are my favorites. It's become a therapeutic exercise.
8. Backpack in Europe.
Nope. Did go to Hawaii with Leah and my aunt tho. Ate corn flakes while watching surfers from the condo balcony. So cool!
9. Find peace.
Much of it!
My 30s I really dug in and did the work on "me" ... And I found peace with my demons, peace with others, peace with myself, peace with life. I truly love living!
10. Compete in a weightlifting competition.
HaHaha.... I was serious too!!!
Nah. Change of heart. Yoga and dance. ❤
11. Have a garden.
Just love my little carport garden I re-invent every year! Each season I learn something new about horticulture. Especially love growing herbs.
12. Be a Foster Home.
In my mind, I imagined fostering in the traditional sense. Becoming a single parent made me think I couldn't be a Foster Home... But over the last 10 years, I've had the honor of welcoming into my heart and home nieces, nephews, neighborhood kids, and the children of friends who needed to lean in for a while. It's been painful at times. Disappointing. Not always convenient. But also, it's been a joy. There's been laughter and mess and paint and exploring and snacks!!! :) It takes a village and being one of the nurturing ones in that village has filled my heart! I don't know who gets the bigger blessing.... them or me! I think me. They have taught me so much!
Looking forward to making my 40s goals list!
When I turned 30, I made a list of 12 things to accomplish by my 40th birthday.
I pulled the list... Here's how I did.
1. Be debt free
Pretty much, yes.
Biggest debt is my mortgage.
2. Buy an 80s Jaguar.
Nope. Not yet... ;)
3. Leah will be 10. Be home with her often.
Yes. Yes. Yes! Best blessing in my 30s was to eventually be able to make a living AND be a very present mom. I'm very involved in all her after school things and daily life. Blessed.
4. Buy a home on a lake.
Bought a home.
The lake is a 5 minute drive away. ;)
5. Have my legal certification.
The interpreter certifications changed since I made the list. I passed the written test at the MI Supreme Courthouse. But haven't pursued the legal endorsement yet. I chose to get the medical/mental health instead.
6. Publish 1 book.
Ooo...we're so close! It's coming!
7. Take dance lessons. Get good at it.
Yep! Been taking them. Wouldn't consider myself a "dancer" but I definitely know way more now than I ever did and I practice weekly. I practice at home too. Ballet and tap are my favorites. It's become a therapeutic exercise.
8. Backpack in Europe.
Nope. Did go to Hawaii with Leah and my aunt tho. Ate corn flakes while watching surfers from the condo balcony. So cool!
9. Find peace.
Much of it!
My 30s I really dug in and did the work on "me" ... And I found peace with my demons, peace with others, peace with myself, peace with life. I truly love living!
10. Compete in a weightlifting competition.
HaHaha.... I was serious too!!!
Nah. Change of heart. Yoga and dance. ❤
11. Have a garden.
Just love my little carport garden I re-invent every year! Each season I learn something new about horticulture. Especially love growing herbs.
12. Be a Foster Home.
In my mind, I imagined fostering in the traditional sense. Becoming a single parent made me think I couldn't be a Foster Home... But over the last 10 years, I've had the honor of welcoming into my heart and home nieces, nephews, neighborhood kids, and the children of friends who needed to lean in for a while. It's been painful at times. Disappointing. Not always convenient. But also, it's been a joy. There's been laughter and mess and paint and exploring and snacks!!! :) It takes a village and being one of the nurturing ones in that village has filled my heart! I don't know who gets the bigger blessing.... them or me! I think me. They have taught me so much!
Looking forward to making my 40s goals list!
COVID AND FAITH. NEW THINGS UNEXPECTED.
My mother asked me today,
"Do you have a lot of virtual work lined up?"
I said, "Nope. But I wasn't setup for it either." I showed her my new home office space, "I'm setting up for the work so I'm ready."
My mom nodded, "That's faith."
I thought about her words as she left.
She's right. That IS faith. Seeing, knowing what can be done before it happens and taking the initiative. It's those dream boards people make. The "Whys" that multilevel marketing companies talk about. The "Speaking it into existence" stuff motivational speakers preach.
The last five weeks have felt like an entire year's worth of events! Mixed among the questions and unknowns, was my own job losses and job unpredictably for the future. I paused after my mom left my house and thought about all we'd problem solved in the last five weeks.
- Got Zoom to finally work on my laptop.
- Figured out how to teach 4 weeks of dance class from home, on my phone, and upload class to an app.
- Established a yoga routine. Cleaned the carport.
- Turned a family room into a multi purpose room that has since transformed several times a day into a mini dance studio, a sign language space, a zoom meeting setup, a voice lessons room, a school, an art studio, a tv room, and a dining room. Sometimes all of it in one day. We've figured out how to quick change.
- Kept Leah engaged in learning with a successful home education schedule - that we created.
- Joined regular zoom meetings and other media platforms. Expanded our knowledge of the opportunities in a virtual world.
- Cooked meals with what was available to purchase at the store. Used our own deep freezer meat. Made do with what we could find. Haven't starved.
- Stayed isolated, quarantined at times, socially distant. Took our vitamins.
- Found toilet paper when we need it. Didn't hoard it. Ha!
- Rearranged a corner in my bedroom to become a private home office space for me to start making income again. Thinking outside the box with my skill sets.
- Cried behind closed doors. Still pressed on.
- Celebrated Leah turning 11 with a full day of fun in isolation. Made memories. She went to bed loving her birthday.
- Prepped the garden for planting. Building our self sustaining food source.
There is a proverb that says, "A man's gifts make room for him." I've never been one to just sit and sulk while life dictates my fate. I may cry. I may have some days of depression. But then I stand up and create a path where there isn't one. I've always been like this. My work ethic is tough. I'm not afraid of work. I'm willing to do a job, any job, or I'll create one.
It's just how I was raised.
My mom said it today, "That's faith."
She's right. Faith isn't just believing or hoping, it's setting it into motion with your actions.
Hope has no substance without a foundation.
Doesn't mean it'll be easy... The last five weeks were not a breeze. But looking back, I'm proud of us. We buckled in, and went for the ride.
It was shaky and dark and uncharted.
And just look at all we made reality!
We're not out of the woods.
There are still many unanswered questions.
I wake up everyday holding my breath. But.
If we stay on the path we've been forging...
I'll find work. Leah will finish 5th grade. We will stay healthy. Our new normal will still encompass taking care of others. And we'll be stronger in faith than we were a year ago.
"Practice makes permanent." (A famous quote from my dad.) ;)
My mother asked me today,
"Do you have a lot of virtual work lined up?"
I said, "Nope. But I wasn't setup for it either." I showed her my new home office space, "I'm setting up for the work so I'm ready."
My mom nodded, "That's faith."
I thought about her words as she left.
She's right. That IS faith. Seeing, knowing what can be done before it happens and taking the initiative. It's those dream boards people make. The "Whys" that multilevel marketing companies talk about. The "Speaking it into existence" stuff motivational speakers preach.
The last five weeks have felt like an entire year's worth of events! Mixed among the questions and unknowns, was my own job losses and job unpredictably for the future. I paused after my mom left my house and thought about all we'd problem solved in the last five weeks.
- Got Zoom to finally work on my laptop.
- Figured out how to teach 4 weeks of dance class from home, on my phone, and upload class to an app.
- Established a yoga routine. Cleaned the carport.
- Turned a family room into a multi purpose room that has since transformed several times a day into a mini dance studio, a sign language space, a zoom meeting setup, a voice lessons room, a school, an art studio, a tv room, and a dining room. Sometimes all of it in one day. We've figured out how to quick change.
- Kept Leah engaged in learning with a successful home education schedule - that we created.
- Joined regular zoom meetings and other media platforms. Expanded our knowledge of the opportunities in a virtual world.
- Cooked meals with what was available to purchase at the store. Used our own deep freezer meat. Made do with what we could find. Haven't starved.
- Stayed isolated, quarantined at times, socially distant. Took our vitamins.
- Found toilet paper when we need it. Didn't hoard it. Ha!
- Rearranged a corner in my bedroom to become a private home office space for me to start making income again. Thinking outside the box with my skill sets.
- Cried behind closed doors. Still pressed on.
- Celebrated Leah turning 11 with a full day of fun in isolation. Made memories. She went to bed loving her birthday.
- Prepped the garden for planting. Building our self sustaining food source.
There is a proverb that says, "A man's gifts make room for him." I've never been one to just sit and sulk while life dictates my fate. I may cry. I may have some days of depression. But then I stand up and create a path where there isn't one. I've always been like this. My work ethic is tough. I'm not afraid of work. I'm willing to do a job, any job, or I'll create one.
It's just how I was raised.
My mom said it today, "That's faith."
She's right. Faith isn't just believing or hoping, it's setting it into motion with your actions.
Hope has no substance without a foundation.
Doesn't mean it'll be easy... The last five weeks were not a breeze. But looking back, I'm proud of us. We buckled in, and went for the ride.
It was shaky and dark and uncharted.
And just look at all we made reality!
We're not out of the woods.
There are still many unanswered questions.
I wake up everyday holding my breath. But.
If we stay on the path we've been forging...
I'll find work. Leah will finish 5th grade. We will stay healthy. Our new normal will still encompass taking care of others. And we'll be stronger in faith than we were a year ago.
"Practice makes permanent." (A famous quote from my dad.) ;)
Interpreter Appreciation Day (yesterday):
Real Talk.
The worst group of people ever to work with!
A production manger from Disney once said to me, "I travel all around. I've worked with a lot of you interpreters. How come every one of you act like you have a chip on your shoulder?"
We're always fighting for something.
Fighting for access, social justice, equality, "rights"...the law that we're required to know but no one follows. Advocating, educating. Asking. Constantly asking. Can I get a stool, a chair, a light, a script, an outline of today's agenda. Redirecting. I'm "the" interpreter, not "your" interpreter. "Please address the individual directly, I'll interpret."
(Stop saying "tell her/him" !!!!!)
No. I won't, "not interpret that." I sign everything I hear. I'll need a break. I'm not a robot. I need a team. It has nothing to do with my stamina or your words per minute. It's but about you or me....it's about the message.
Yes I'm paid. No I don't drive the client everywhere. No I can't also hold that for you AND sign. Yes I'll be sending you an invoice even though they no showed or you cancelled last minute. And idk if they read lips or hear any....I'll be happy to interpret that question for you tho. (Exhausted grin.)
So yea. It's no surprise we may come across like we have chips on our shoulders. It's 2020, and accessible communication still is an issue and often it's "those interpreters" that are seen as in the way, expensive, too much work to schedule.
We mostly work as silos. Which leads to teaming issues. We're not practiced enough to team effectively. There are equity issues wrapped into it all too. A history of agencies setting the tone and playing favorites. Contracts in place we have no control over. It makes us by default in competition with each other. How can I trust you to team with you?
No one wants to be made example of at the next interpreter workshop. Many seasoned, qualified interpreters hide in the shadows for fear of the social media backlash from our own community. Back stabbing is normal in our profession. We only talk about it in whispers with our closest colleagues... But it's a country wide issue. The elephant in the room.
We travel with huge rugs in our trunks to sweep uncomfortable issues under. Being the one to speak up puts your entire career in jeopardy....whether you're right or wrong.
Doing "what's right" is not promise for reliable income. We take ethics workshops but if we truly follow them, we risk losing income.
Money. It always boils down to money.
My rate. Your rate. The agency rate. The contract terms that someone in HR who has no idea what we actually do and why wrote. And it all impacts most....????
The Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Deafblind community. What do they think of it all?
A Deaf friend once said to me, "I wouldn't want to work with any of you interpreters. You all talk out of both sides of your mouth and behind each other's backs."
If you're new in the field....?
I give the sign of the cross over your head.
Seriously.
You will unknowingly take jobs that you shouldn't, or should have known better. Your name might get splattered all over the internet or whispered at interpreter workshop tables. You're eager to learn and grow in the profession. You'll be recruited by the wrong agencies who are nice and promise you things but have a terrible reputation in the Deaf community. You'll learn this the hard way. Grow thick skin. Keep your heart open. Be teachable. Find Deaf mentors and trusting seasoned interpreters. You'll make it.
So why do I still do this job?!
Sign Language is all if ever known.
I adore the translation work. I'm good at it.
I don't need the lime light or attention. I enjoy just being the communication facilitator.
And...the Deaf community feels like home.
What about the rest?
Can we fix it?
Will our profession ever find unity.
Will we ever watch each other's backs instead of each of us worried about our own?
Too big of questions for one post. (Ha!)
However....
I DO know some amazing interpreters and Deaf professionals who have been my rock and mentors. I have also experienced shoulders to cry on, safe places to vent to, and friendly eyes looking into mine with tough critiques. The relationship allows for growth.
As a silo I often work, but I make time to connect with other professionals in the field.
We bear each other's burdens.
I appreciate on interpreter appreciation day, every Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Deafblind friend who gave me feedback and encouragement. I took it to heart.
I appreciate the interpreters of all certifications and experience who sat in the chair next to me, rotating 15...20 minutes...and wrote notes in the tablet for the job. Together, we improved our practice.
I vow to do just that... To keep practicing
Real Talk.
The worst group of people ever to work with!
A production manger from Disney once said to me, "I travel all around. I've worked with a lot of you interpreters. How come every one of you act like you have a chip on your shoulder?"
We're always fighting for something.
Fighting for access, social justice, equality, "rights"...the law that we're required to know but no one follows. Advocating, educating. Asking. Constantly asking. Can I get a stool, a chair, a light, a script, an outline of today's agenda. Redirecting. I'm "the" interpreter, not "your" interpreter. "Please address the individual directly, I'll interpret."
(Stop saying "tell her/him" !!!!!)
No. I won't, "not interpret that." I sign everything I hear. I'll need a break. I'm not a robot. I need a team. It has nothing to do with my stamina or your words per minute. It's but about you or me....it's about the message.
Yes I'm paid. No I don't drive the client everywhere. No I can't also hold that for you AND sign. Yes I'll be sending you an invoice even though they no showed or you cancelled last minute. And idk if they read lips or hear any....I'll be happy to interpret that question for you tho. (Exhausted grin.)
So yea. It's no surprise we may come across like we have chips on our shoulders. It's 2020, and accessible communication still is an issue and often it's "those interpreters" that are seen as in the way, expensive, too much work to schedule.
We mostly work as silos. Which leads to teaming issues. We're not practiced enough to team effectively. There are equity issues wrapped into it all too. A history of agencies setting the tone and playing favorites. Contracts in place we have no control over. It makes us by default in competition with each other. How can I trust you to team with you?
No one wants to be made example of at the next interpreter workshop. Many seasoned, qualified interpreters hide in the shadows for fear of the social media backlash from our own community. Back stabbing is normal in our profession. We only talk about it in whispers with our closest colleagues... But it's a country wide issue. The elephant in the room.
We travel with huge rugs in our trunks to sweep uncomfortable issues under. Being the one to speak up puts your entire career in jeopardy....whether you're right or wrong.
Doing "what's right" is not promise for reliable income. We take ethics workshops but if we truly follow them, we risk losing income.
Money. It always boils down to money.
My rate. Your rate. The agency rate. The contract terms that someone in HR who has no idea what we actually do and why wrote. And it all impacts most....????
The Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Deafblind community. What do they think of it all?
A Deaf friend once said to me, "I wouldn't want to work with any of you interpreters. You all talk out of both sides of your mouth and behind each other's backs."
If you're new in the field....?
I give the sign of the cross over your head.
Seriously.
You will unknowingly take jobs that you shouldn't, or should have known better. Your name might get splattered all over the internet or whispered at interpreter workshop tables. You're eager to learn and grow in the profession. You'll be recruited by the wrong agencies who are nice and promise you things but have a terrible reputation in the Deaf community. You'll learn this the hard way. Grow thick skin. Keep your heart open. Be teachable. Find Deaf mentors and trusting seasoned interpreters. You'll make it.
So why do I still do this job?!
Sign Language is all if ever known.
I adore the translation work. I'm good at it.
I don't need the lime light or attention. I enjoy just being the communication facilitator.
And...the Deaf community feels like home.
What about the rest?
Can we fix it?
Will our profession ever find unity.
Will we ever watch each other's backs instead of each of us worried about our own?
Too big of questions for one post. (Ha!)
However....
I DO know some amazing interpreters and Deaf professionals who have been my rock and mentors. I have also experienced shoulders to cry on, safe places to vent to, and friendly eyes looking into mine with tough critiques. The relationship allows for growth.
As a silo I often work, but I make time to connect with other professionals in the field.
We bear each other's burdens.
I appreciate on interpreter appreciation day, every Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Deafblind friend who gave me feedback and encouragement. I took it to heart.
I appreciate the interpreters of all certifications and experience who sat in the chair next to me, rotating 15...20 minutes...and wrote notes in the tablet for the job. Together, we improved our practice.
I vow to do just that... To keep practicing
PRIVILEGE.
STOP SHOUTING AT ME!
Don't we all carry privilege?
I'm here to listen.
Why do you keep asking me to leave?
Don't leave? You want me to stay.
I didn't listen to your wounds.
It is uncomfortable here with your reality.
I'll stay.
LOOK AT ME!
Don't you see I'm wearing your things?
I collected your bracelets, buttons, t-shirts...
See? I look like you.
Until I remove them....
Oh. You can't remove yours...
You're not shouting. You're crying out.
Ok. I'm looking at YOU now.
THIS PRIVILEGE IS HEAVY!
Don't know what to do with it.
The wheel keeps circling around my feelings.
Pause.
It's not about me... But, you.
Your existence shuffles the dice.
How much am I willing to risk?
If my life matches the pinned collectables...?
Not asking you to make my burden lighter.
I KNOW TOO MUCH!
Don't try to confuse us with your subtitles.
Theology fills my head like smoke.
I know the drills. I studied the law.
Its self preserving fumes make me cough.
Easier to give in, breathe on their oxygen tanks.
Dragging a tethered tank of patriarchy around...
The air in their tanks runs out. Back for more.
Where is Jesus?
TAKING A DEEP BREATH!
Don't be fooled. God cannot be mocked.
Holding my privilege out in front on me.
You already saw it.
It became a cross to bear. I'm uncomfortable.
Beginning to figure out what to do with it.
Letting it's bearing weight press into my soul.
When asked... I'll say, Your home is perfect.
❤j
STOP SHOUTING AT ME!
Don't we all carry privilege?
I'm here to listen.
Why do you keep asking me to leave?
Don't leave? You want me to stay.
I didn't listen to your wounds.
It is uncomfortable here with your reality.
I'll stay.
LOOK AT ME!
Don't you see I'm wearing your things?
I collected your bracelets, buttons, t-shirts...
See? I look like you.
Until I remove them....
Oh. You can't remove yours...
You're not shouting. You're crying out.
Ok. I'm looking at YOU now.
THIS PRIVILEGE IS HEAVY!
Don't know what to do with it.
The wheel keeps circling around my feelings.
Pause.
It's not about me... But, you.
Your existence shuffles the dice.
How much am I willing to risk?
If my life matches the pinned collectables...?
Not asking you to make my burden lighter.
I KNOW TOO MUCH!
Don't try to confuse us with your subtitles.
Theology fills my head like smoke.
I know the drills. I studied the law.
Its self preserving fumes make me cough.
Easier to give in, breathe on their oxygen tanks.
Dragging a tethered tank of patriarchy around...
The air in their tanks runs out. Back for more.
Where is Jesus?
TAKING A DEEP BREATH!
Don't be fooled. God cannot be mocked.
Holding my privilege out in front on me.
You already saw it.
It became a cross to bear. I'm uncomfortable.
Beginning to figure out what to do with it.
Letting it's bearing weight press into my soul.
When asked... I'll say, Your home is perfect.
❤j